The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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