As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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