you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
