I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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