please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
