Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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