i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
In other news, I just burned my penis
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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