Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
