So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
BRING THE BAGELS
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
