they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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