You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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