Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
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Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
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Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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