so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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