Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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