What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize