i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize