"it" just moved
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
