The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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