I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
