Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
