We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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