He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
