If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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