is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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