the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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