Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
