and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
