she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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