another moral hangover. fuck.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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