I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
