i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
