That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
