After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
