you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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