I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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