Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
