what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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