i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
do nipples grow back?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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