You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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