Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
