Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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