You're so nebulous sometimes
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
this boner is exhausting
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
