Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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