i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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