Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
