My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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