You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
