Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
