were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
