i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
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i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
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The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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