Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
