I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
