I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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