U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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