Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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