I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
