never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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