In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
