My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
