on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
