Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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