we have officially lost it.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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