At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
